I am enjoying these weekly features SO much.
When I started researching the tradition of exchanging cake after it is cut, I thought it would be a fun little fluffy piece of history.
The more I read about it, the more emotion I began to feel. I mention this mostly to express that my stance is obviously skewed towards skipping the cake smash. It goes against my personal values. The fear, the uncertainty, the lack of trust that can be displayed (if you express your desire and then it isn’t honored). Revenge, power, pride, force, and the potential for resentment.
This is clearly my stance. I do believe cake smashes can be done lovingly and playfully. But it has to be done with respect. If one of you doesn’t want to do it, this isn’t something to compromise on, don’t do it.
If you are wild, silly, playful, and aren’t worried about messing up your makeup (or your partner’s makeup) or getting a cake with a filling tuning your clothes, then HAVE a blast! Squish that cake in their face!
If you are like me, you will leave the cake smashes to the adorable babies. If you aren’t, that’s great, just make sure to be honoring the spirit of your partner. Don’t have your laugh at the expense of your partner, especially so publically on your beautiful day.
In all of the cake topics I’ve researched and planned to highlight, this is what I feel is the most controversial. I am incredibly supportive of couples following their bliss and seeking their joy, but I couldn’t write this up in an unbiased way.
You are spending money on makeup, dresses, tuxes/ suits, and the delicious cake. Enjoy the cake! Avoid the mess of your makeup, staining clothes, and savor those sweet bites with your honey.
Recommendations
Communication is the most important thing. (And my number ONE marriage tip). Talk it through. Share openly.
Talk about each of your visions about the cake cutting. It may feel silly, but this is your life partner. It isn’t silly. Talk through how you plan to cut the cake. (Ask your baker about recommendations for cutting that first slice. There may be structure inside of the cake that you need to be aware of). Then talk about how you plan to feed each other the cake (or if you want to particiapte in that tradition). Will you use a fork, will you use your fingers, will you feed one at a time, will you feed at the same time?
I’m a planner by nature. So my suggestions above may seem like overkill. Maybe you like things more loosey goosey and that’s great too.
